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This message Teeny Tiny Tales 2 : A Case in the Life... was posted by ManMan on Monday, September 2, 2002 at 20:35.

Case No. - 889012

Date - 29th July 2002.

Assigning Officer - Det. Jack Millet.

Report -

Approximately 12 hours ago, I received a call on a 12-18 in Pierce Heights. Mrs Jane Ramsey had reported to us that her husbands - John Ramsey - head had been stolen. Her statement is included in this report but I will summarize her account of the events.
At 6:30 a.m. Mrs Ramsey had been having breakfast with her husband when he began to experience severe neck pains, shortly after he fell to the ground clutching the back of his neck in agony. Mrs Ramsey, understandably distressed, phoned immediately for an ambulance but when she returned to Mr Ramsey, she saw the head “vanishing into thin air”. When the ambulance arrived, they were initially worried about Mrs Ramsey when she told them her account and that her husband still walked around, apparently looking for the missing appendage. Paramedics entered the house and indeed found Mr Ramsey alive, groping around in the garden.
At 7:15, I arrived and took statements from everyone inside, though a statement from Mr Ramsey was not possible.
At 7:30, Mrs Ramsey received a phone call from a man who claimed to have stolen Mr Ramsey’s head. I picked up an extension phone and listened to his demand of 5 million dollars by midday, that or Mr Ramsey would never be seen alive again. The last statement struck me as odd - I then concluded that this “head-napper” was amateur opportunist, possibly someone with a grudge against the family. I explained so to Mrs Ramsey, and she enquired how I knew this. I explained to her that if the “head-napper” didn’t know that Mr Ramsey was still living without his body then the “head-napper” did not fully understand the power he wielded and although Mr Ramsey is a successful business man, he is not a well known figure in the city, and therefore would only be targeted by professionals or people who knew him. I further explained that professional “head-nappers” would know that the body carries on living after the head is taken, so the work is of an amateur who knows of Mr Ramsey, possibly working for him.
I put a call into HQ to send a uniform over to the Ramsey house to keep an eye on Mr Ramsey while I went to Mr Ramsey’s place of business - Ramsey Wrenches - to check on employees. I arrived at approximately 8:00 a.m. and met with Mr Ramsey’s secretary, Mrs Abigail Holt. I appraised her of the situation and she was noticeably shocked, only after a few minutes was I able to learn any information about Mr Ramsey’s employees. I took her statement, which I have summarized as followed.
2 months ago, a foreman - Mr Nick Ingram - was fired for misconduct when it was learned by Mr Ramsey that he had been selling surplus orders for export. Mr Ramsey had brought charges against Mr Ingram which were still pending, I asked Mrs Holt for Mr Ingram’s last known address and proceeded to his flat in Seedytown, when I arrived I checked in with the manager of the building - Mr Thomas Potts - he informed me that Mr Ingram was evicted last month and that he hadn’t seen him since. I enquired about known friends of Mr Ingram, or if he had left a forwarding address, Mr Potts was unhelpful on both these issues. With no more direct leads, I went back to the Ramsey residence to wait for the head-napper to phone with directions for the money drop.
When I arrived, Mrs Ramsey received me in a state of excitement, she told me “he’s writing! he’s writing!” I entered the house and sure enough, Mr Ramsey’s body was writing what Mr Ramsey’s head could see. Firstly, he identified Mr Ingram as the perpetrator to the napping and also identified another suspect, someone who he didn’t recognise but described as “large, with a nose ring and facial scars”, this was the description of Mr Potts, obviously in collusion with Mr Ingram. I called HQ for back-up and drove to Seedytown.
On arrival, I met with Officers Smits and Franz, we climbed the stairs to the 4th floor. Arriving at Mr Ingram’s door, raised voices and sounds of a struggle were heard inside, we broke through the door and immediately pacified Mr Potts. Mr Ingram had been previously pacified by Mr Ramsey, who was still biting into Mr Ingram’s testicles.
Items found at the scene included; a book entitled “DIY Voodoo”, live chickens and a set of vegetable knives. After some consultation with Officer Smits and Franz we were able to reattach Mr Ramsey’s head to his body.

Addendum - I include a pre-requisition form for a new jacket, the former being soiled by chickens.

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